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I wrote this about 15 years ago about a girl that was briefly, a large part of my life. outwardly i am not the sort to write poetry and i have kept this under wraps ever since, apart from a brief outing on facebook which resulted in only one responce. i would like to finally get some feedback. what ever that may be.i hope you like it. thanks for looking.

Without knowing the reasons, your all four of my seasons
from the turn of your fall, to the spring of your pride
with a slow step to greeting, you enchant with each meeting,
that changes the weather inside.

With you im obtuse; sometimes aloof,
yet the storm clouds that still come to mind,
obscure the plain reason, ever there in each season;
a flash thought on black through your eyes.

with the ebb and the flow, trailing you in the snow
my mind places you on the crest of its pile,
ahhh, to touch
to hinder
to wait and win her,
to love...
.. and linger for a while.

p.s

Although i am new to this sort of thing, and i have only been on this site for a matter of minutes, i have noticed that there is a disproportionately large number of "viewers" to "commenters". one person has had over 400 views of his efforts and only 9 comments posted in response. it makes me wonder what the purpose is for most people to visit this site. i mean, for a creative writing site you'd think everyone would be a little more inclined to write something. even if it's negative. P.T Barnum once said, "i dont care what they write about me as long as they spell my name right"
if you are one of the few who will actually read this far. why not say something. your opinion does matter
what do you think?
really.....REALLY?!?! NOT ONE COMMENT? NOT ONE CRITIQUE OR CRITICISM??? 50+ VIEWS AND NO ONE WANTS TO SAY ANYTHING AT ALL!! WHAT IS THIS SITE USED FOR? SOME ONE TELL ME...PLEASE!
(06-05-2012, 06:40 PM)gsc3po Wrote: [ -> ]really.....REALLY?!?! NOT ONE COMMENT? NOT ONE CRITIQUE OR CRITICISM??? 50+ VIEWS AND NO ONE WANTS TO SAY ANYTHING AT ALL!! WHAT IS THIS SITE USED FOR? SOME ONE TELL ME...PLEASE!
Dude, slow your roll. No one will read it if you make yourself out to be an a.sshole. Just move on.
I'm not exactly the best at poems, but it doesn't take an expert to see the beauty in this.
Love the poem.
Nice, poem. Just read this quite good.
(06-05-2012, 07:03 PM)Aиγέλ Oφ Kαος Wrote: [ -> ]Dude, slow your roll. No one will read it if you make yourself out to be an a.sshole. Just move on.


LOL. your probably right, but i was banking on the assumption that they would have to read the lot to find out i was only an a.sshole at the end. ha.
maybe my expectations were a little optimistic. but thanks for the heads up.
You're good at this mate, have you tried writing more after this?
You're pretty good at this!

It flows really nice, you should do this more.
(06-21-2012, 06:03 AM)Kewlz Wrote: [ -> ]You're good at this mate, have you tried writing more after this?

Hey Kewlz, thanks for the comment. i really glad you liked it. not many people have seen it over the years, and those that have have all been close personal friends so it has been hard to judge if they were being objective or not. i have written very little else really but i have always had a secret passion for words. to be honest i have had lots of ideas but i find it hard to focus and find the time. i was hoping i could maybe write for other people. if someone wanted something on a particular subject they could give me as many details as possible; things they wanted to say/include, what style they wanted and what they wanted it for, and maybe i could draw on their input. I have even thought about writing short stories, but again, i have the same problems.
inspiration
motivation
dedication.
I guess you must see a lot of posts from people on here.
if you have any suggestion or advice i'm all ears...and a hand....with a pen in it.

(06-21-2012, 08:14 AM)-Antimatter.Hax- Wrote: [ -> ]You're pretty good at this!

It flows really nice, you should do this more.

Hey -Antimatter.Hax- ,
Thanks for taking the time to read it and post a reply, i really appreciate it. i would love to write more but i have random short lived ideas and little focus. in an ideal world i could write for a living but i think i have left it a little late in life to base a career change on a very underdeveloped,( barely credible), talent.

(06-07-2012, 10:36 PM)RubiksHQ Wrote: [ -> ]I'm not exactly the best at poems, but it doesn't take an expert to see the beauty in this.
Love the poem.

My favourite comment. Thank You. x