04-22-2012, 04:55 PM
I wrote this about 15 years ago about a girl that was briefly, a large part of my life. outwardly i am not the sort to write poetry and i have kept this under wraps ever since, apart from a brief outing on facebook which resulted in only one responce. i would like to finally get some feedback. what ever that may be.i hope you like it. thanks for looking.
Without knowing the reasons, your all four of my seasons
from the turn of your fall, to the spring of your pride
with a slow step to greeting, you enchant with each meeting,
that changes the weather inside.
With you im obtuse; sometimes aloof,
yet the storm clouds that still come to mind,
obscure the plain reason, ever there in each season;
a flash thought on black through your eyes.
with the ebb and the flow, trailing you in the snow
my mind places you on the crest of its pile,
ahhh, to touch
to hinder
to wait and win her,
to love...
.. and linger for a while.
p.s
Although i am new to this sort of thing, and i have only been on this site for a matter of minutes, i have noticed that there is a disproportionately large number of "viewers" to "commenters". one person has had over 400 views of his efforts and only 9 comments posted in response. it makes me wonder what the purpose is for most people to visit this site. i mean, for a creative writing site you'd think everyone would be a little more inclined to write something. even if it's negative. P.T Barnum once said, "i dont care what they write about me as long as they spell my name right"
if you are one of the few who will actually read this far. why not say something. your opinion does matter
what do you think?
Without knowing the reasons, your all four of my seasons
from the turn of your fall, to the spring of your pride
with a slow step to greeting, you enchant with each meeting,
that changes the weather inside.
With you im obtuse; sometimes aloof,
yet the storm clouds that still come to mind,
obscure the plain reason, ever there in each season;
a flash thought on black through your eyes.
with the ebb and the flow, trailing you in the snow
my mind places you on the crest of its pile,
ahhh, to touch
to hinder
to wait and win her,
to love...
.. and linger for a while.
p.s
Although i am new to this sort of thing, and i have only been on this site for a matter of minutes, i have noticed that there is a disproportionately large number of "viewers" to "commenters". one person has had over 400 views of his efforts and only 9 comments posted in response. it makes me wonder what the purpose is for most people to visit this site. i mean, for a creative writing site you'd think everyone would be a little more inclined to write something. even if it's negative. P.T Barnum once said, "i dont care what they write about me as long as they spell my name right"
if you are one of the few who will actually read this far. why not say something. your opinion does matter
what do you think?