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Is it bad that I want to get high???

My dad grows marijuana legally & it pisses me off in a way. At the same time, it's to bring more $$$ into this house. He never is allowed to smoke it because the drug testing that goes on with him.

My mom, the other day she got high while I was spending the night with my GF. FYI, me & my GF live with each other & parents know that have our head untop of our shoulders. On weekdays, were at my family's house then over her family's on the weekends. I mean, we practically <3 each other & it will be hard to sleep alone.

But the bitch about it all is how my GFs in the picture, my mom never talks to me about anything, I always hear stuff from someone else or my GF. That's exactly how I heard about the getting high of my mom.

Not only with all that, I start to get a lot of huge, random paranoia about my GF. Usually when dreams come up but only when there is no dream catcher. I have a dream catcher in my room so I mean, it was the other day I had one. But usually I get these & I feel so into it that it affects me from sleeping at the time once I wake up. I even wake her up for help with the situation & it's all little stuff that hits with no need.

I'm posting this up as a way to get comments from others, I mean, I don't think I would need much help with it all because I know the source of much of my problems. I just want to get it out of me which is a reason why.

How my friends are & how many I have. My self-esteem level to be exact. I have a horrible self-esteem I believe because I have no friends. The ones I had ware listed here, will hide most of the name:

Str: He never talks anymore because he's with his GF all the time & is also working to.

Bra: GF hates for reasons that don't even exist. He's a "Stud" that likes to get high & drunk whenever. I'm into that stuff but we do it enough to where it doesn't affect us. He lives with his GF as she has a child & they are always working. He also has his head screwed on in a way.

Z: He left because there was a girl that I liked before but left her for some circumstances that I couldn't stand. I stuck by his side, was his friend but then he left since I screwed things up with her. Like, he never talks to me & even when I tried contacting, he just didn't respond. There were times I would make short conversation & my GF is best friends with him & she tells me I just can't talk like this & that but though she talks almost exactly like I do & he talks to her.

J: He was my best friend, like the only true friend & still is in a way. The sad part is I moved away.

Other small friends are just going through text, never really hung out with them or are other friends, friends.

Even then when my GF has these two best friends (guys), she has many friends around. I feel as if sometimes she is cheating on me at the same time, she really <3s me.

Through all this, I have hit a hear full of anger coming up with this & need help! In a way, thought it would be from here.

Greetings.

Quote:But the bitch about it all is how my GFs in the picture, my mom never talks to me about anything.

Please understand that it has a lack of communication form of it to the whole problem. But who can you blame? You visit your family every weekday. I think it would be nice and treat your mom to a "date" and bring her out to eat or somewhere, so that you can catch up on things. I mean, you only see her a few times, so why not make a day fun, you know what I mean? Don't wait for your mom to talk to you first, ask her about her life, health, what's been going on around the house, and anything you can do to help her. It might even be just to clean the house so she doesn't have a huge workload, or even wash the dishes, whatever it is.

Your girlfriend is always in the picture because you guys live together am I correct? You visit your family on the weekdays, which means you have time to talk to each other about different situations and just random things. Maybe your mother misses you, and thinks that you spend to much time with your girlfriend, so that's why she doesn't talk to you about anything, because you have a good standard with your girlfriend already. Who knows? But you can't exactly get into her head, but you should assume , so that you can get your relationship back together with your own flesh and blood.

Quote:That's exactly how I heard about the getting high of my mom.

You should find help for your mother. I don't know what the situation with marijuana is, but it can lead to serious problems in the future. I don't know what age your mother is, but she can develop something when she grows older, which is not good at all. You have to actually take into consideration and tell yourself from what's right and what's wrong about smoking. Whether it be just marijuana, or a cigarette, can damage your lungs severely. If you want your mother to lead a healthy, long life, then I suggest you find help to get your mother off being high.

Quote:I have a horrible self-esteem I believe because I have no friends

Depicting the situation, I think it would be best if you got new friends. If they don't give you the time of day, then should you really call them "friends?" I think you have a good self-esteem, considering you have a girlfriend in which you said that deeply loves you. I think you should stop with it, and appreciate what you have, because you should be confident to have a good life, because you have a girlfriend in a good standard.

Quote:I feel as if sometimes she is cheating on me at the same time

Whoopeedoo. You should contain the trust in your girlfriend to know she wouldn't cheat on you. Everyone says this over and over again, which is getting to the part that it is getting cliche. Trust is the key in a relationship. Yes, it's a really insecure thing to think your girlfriend is cheating on you. However, why not confront her about it? See what she says to your face. If she tells you that she won't cheat on you, then she won't. You ahve to find the trust in the relationship to deepen the bond. You live with her, and I don't think she'll be going anywhere sometime soon.

Have fun.

(01-30-2012, 06:39 PM)Brandenx781 Wrote: [ -> ]Greetings.

1 - Please understand that it has a lack of communication form of it to the whole problem. But who can you blame? You visit your family every weekday. I think it would be nice and treat your mom to a "date" and bring her out to eat or somewhere, so that you can catch up on things. I mean, you only see her a few times, so why not make a day fun, you know what I mean? Don't wait for your mom to talk to you first, ask her about her life, health, what's been going on around the house, and anything you can do to help her. It might even be just to clean the house so she doesn't have a huge workload, or even wash the dishes, whatever it is.

Your girlfriend is always in the picture because you guys live together am I correct? You visit your family on the weekdays, which means you have time to talk to each other about different situations and just random things. Maybe your mother misses you, and thinks that you spend to much time with your girlfriend, so that's why she doesn't talk to you about anything, because you have a good standard with your girlfriend already. Who knows? But you can't exactly get into her head, but you should assume , so that you can get your relationship back together with your own flesh and blood.

Quote:That's exactly how I heard about the getting high of my mom.

2 - You should find help for your mother. I don't know what the situation with marijuana is, but it can lead to serious problems in the future. I don't know what age your mother is, but she can develop something when she grows older, which is not good at all. You have to actually take into consideration and tell yourself from what's right and what's wrong about smoking. Whether it be just marijuana, or a cigarette, can damage your lungs severely. If you want your mother to lead a healthy, long life, then I suggest you find help to get your mother off being high.

Quote:I have a horrible self-esteem I believe because I have no friends

3 - Depicting the situation, I think it would be best if you got new friends. If they don't give you the time of day, then should you really call them "friends?" I think you have a good self-esteem, considering you have a girlfriend in which you said that deeply loves you. I think you should stop with it, and appreciate what you have, because you should be confident to have a good life, because you have a girlfriend in a good standard.

4 - Whoopeedoo. You should contain the trust in your girlfriend to know she wouldn't cheat on you. Everyone says this over and over again, which is getting to the part that it is getting cliche. Trust is the key in a relationship. Yes, it's a really insecure thing to think your girlfriend is cheating on you. However, why not confront her about it? See what she says to your face. If she tells you that she won't cheat on you, then she won't. You ahve to find the trust in the relationship to deepen the bond. You live with her, and I don't think she'll be going anywhere sometime soon.

Have fun.

As a for, me & my GF are like still around 18. We rely on our parents for home but able to afford little here & there. One thing I did forget to mention is I have a little brother that has ashburgers & is autistic. Might cause problems usually.

1 - Maybe your right, I never thought of something like that. The problem is IDK usually to talk about which is the problem to. I'm a huge computer fanatic, which adds as I feel nobody cares when I talk about some stuff. I WILL TRY THIS!

2 - This was a once thing I believe to actually let go & lose stress in her case. Believe me, it's already gonna happen that she might die at the age of 60 because of how many cigs she smokes a day. Even makes it worse that when she's home, she spends the time in the smoking room playing Scrabble on phone & smoking. My parents have tried to quit smoking, TRUST ME!

3 - This is a problem I have a lot with everything, making friends. IDK how it goes, I believe I'm actually socially awkward in a way.

My last job, I had a coworker that I wanted to hang out with. Talked to him & even then, we talked about hanging out. Never did, got fired & it seems like I don't exist anymore. I try FB & Phone, he even tells me to try that stuff, feels like I'm being ignored.

At work now, I feel as if when I try to connect, they don't like me in a way. With that, they don't want to talk to me.

4 - We talk about it alot as it is something. It might be something that I have of jealousy because I have told her that I'm jealous she has friends & she's done something that can show for the future. There are some nights where I will cry on her shoulders as our motto is we will be sleeping together every night where I can cry on her shoulders because I am the type of person to cry.

Even then, there was something brought up about our <3. I asked her her definition, she don't have one. There was a time I felt & I still do like running away & starting over because I pry myself to be good, positive & helpful human being. Maybe a crazy I guess you could say. One of the things she responded when I gave her an instance of if I just left is that she would just move on. Sure, it was hidden but known that she would feel sad but it shows a little bit of this <3.

So, we have to destroy all the pot now too.