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Don't run away, your life will get better.
I see where you're going with this. I'm just going to summarize my understanding of how you currently feel.

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I feel lost. I feel I'm not needed here, or anywhere else. I feel I'd be better off in the wilderness, alone - at least there's food there. No one understands me. So, it's better off being alone. But if I go into the wilderness I'm not sure if I can live. What will I do? How will I live? Where will I get money? Maybe it's better to stay here. But, when I'm ready I'll leave.

If that's the case, I'm going to prove you wrong. Please read carefully and take note of what I say.

All parents have hearts. Everyone has a heart. Deep inside they have feelings. They may believe otherwise, but that's what the brain thinks - the heart begs to differ. Keep in mind that actions can change a person, even words. Soothing and meaningful words. You'll have to be a good social engineer though. Alright, so people are different. I don't know about your parents so I'll just tell you the types. Remember grade school? Where you liked someone but you were either too shy or you determined not to tell? Well, those are two types of people. Something is holding them back, or they're really that type. Now, your parents are either two. They love you, but you - "x" and them "y" do not have close contact frequently, therefore, true and deep feelings are not explicitly shown. For the determined ones, they make sure they don't show it. They want to keep it a secret. Yes, some parents can be like that. For a reason I haven't observed too well yet hence I do not know why, but some parents are like that. Your parents don't love, you just can't feel it. If you were to disappear forever, they will miss you, they will think about you. You're their blood. Even if you parents were.. let's say.. serial killers - they'll still love you. Most serial killers that have kids do it all for their children. If you do leave to the wilderness or other, how will you live? You are ruining your future. I know depression is uncontrollable, but you have to try. You can defeat it. In the wilderness, who's going to take care of you if you get sick (if you eat something bad, perhaps), who's going to buy you the clothes you need? How are you going to live? What's going to happen to you in the future? This goes for all other places you're thinking of. Other relatives may not know you as good as your parents. They may not care about you as good as your parents. And, no one else in the world will care. Think about this. If you need more support, click on my signature and contact me.
what if i fake my own death so they wont be as worried???
(07-14-2011, 11:23 AM)Reykjavik Wrote: [ -> ]what if i fake my own death so they wont be as worried???

Faking your own death would grieve your parents, relatives and friends. Your parents would end up crying as well. You should care about their feelings as well as your own. They DID raise you and probably did their best obviously. Think how they would feel? And another downer is what would happen if someone were to find you. What then?
I think Its a good idea. You only live once! Whistle
Bad idea. You'll get weird if you don't have contact with other humans.
I always wanted to go to Chernobyl.
(07-15-2011, 02:37 AM)False Idol Wrote: [ -> ]I think Its a good idea. You only live once! Whistle

THANKYOU, some support!

You're still young and this ideea is pretty crazy ,some people can barely manage to survive in the city but if you really want to do this you should wait at least a few years and get a proper knowledge about surviving in the nature.
(07-14-2011, 11:23 AM)Reykjavik Wrote: [ -> ]what if i fake my own death so they wont be as worried???

I have a feeling that you have read the "Darren Shan" series.

OT: How could you fake your death? They wouldn't find a body so they would presume you missing.
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