06-27-2011, 08:20 AM
EDIT. i have posted this to the police as just a general enquiry but if you do have something to add please do.
OK this isn't really emotion support its just a bit of general advice needed (posted here as there is some emotion to it) I would appreciate if you would read all of it before posting, If its helps I’m 18 years old, just finished my last exam (physics unit 5, wasn’t to bad) and now on my summer holiday between school and uni.
Background info Please read before you post:
call the girl, A, is a nice girl, slightly overweight, heavy smoker and drinker not amazingly academic, sexually active.
the boyfriend, B, (from what A told me) controlling, his need its the most important, you need to learn to do things you don't like, sexually active. and APPARENTLY has hit her.
the mother, C, not the sharpest nail, controlling, things her girl is innocent and isn't sexually active. I was told by A that she thinks you should "marry for money not for love, love is secondary" (which is why she married D) (in my view the epitaph of everything I hate about people)
the dad, D,
OK first of a little back story, There is a girl in my (now old class seeing as I’ve finished all exams) who was constantly talking to me and had a crush on me, However she had a boy friend she wasn't happy with, and I got blinding drunk while visiting my godmother and started texting her that night and we kinda started going out, Nothing serious and apart from a brief sexual interaction (just foreplay) totally innocent. She kept telling me that she would break up with her boyfriend and be with me, just after she had had this holiday she had payed for out of her own pocket to go on with him. (breaking up before hand would have meant she couldn't go and she was really looking forward to it.
OK fast forward a week and now we are kinda going out officially in school everyone but the B and parents knew. Then her dad Guessed that she was seeing someone else and was cool with it, as he new what the boyfriend was doing to her. and yeah he kept it secret for a week, and then he mother found up and this is well..yeah . She from what I gathered from her quite frankly the most controlling person ever, everything A does is controlled by her and I mean everything access to phone, car internet and even checks her facebook (A is 17 years old)
This is where we go into a kinda of secrete relationship she hands out with B more as she can't see me, yes it hurts but I understand and this goes on for two weeks. Now during one of our secret talks she texts me the following in Africans (as that is what she knows I don't speak) "you really are the love of my life"
This to me pushes me over the edge, if this was true she would 1, break up with B and 2. be honest about me with her parents. so we stop talking for a few days while I think. After a day or two I reach my decision I'm serious But I’m not that serious and I really don't think you that serious else you would put up with what your parents would do.
After the mother finds out I get a text from B saying something along the lines of "what are you doing?" and I tell him the honest truth, and we talk it out like men and reach the conclusion that, I need to stop it with her (by this time I have already broken up with her as a result of what she told me) so I’m like "yes I understand" and we leave on friendly terms. which is nice for both of us as no one likes having enemies.
now since that incident with B its been a week and today while coming out of my last exam I mean the mother for the first time and we talk all seems reasonable. Me and B seem to be happy with each other now that its resolved its self and then the conversation gets Serious so I shall put this in Blue text. She tells me that I should "watch my Back as people in south Africa don't get away with things like that....you preyed on an innocent young girl and need to face the consequences....this can only be sorted out between the two people who it concerns and your not to talk to her again.....she doesn't want to talk to you either...do you things its right what you did"
(on a side note is it kinda hypocritical saying that the issues can only be sorted out by A and B and yet she is Threatening me? Me and B seem to be cool now)
Now I haven’t talked to her since I stopped it and B since he texted me saying she wasn't feeling alight and suspected we had had sex (which we hadn't) so I told him the extent of the relationship we had with more detail. I considered bygones to be bygones and he was just looking out for A's health and safety now as he hadn't contacted me back in anyway.
Questions
So yes I don't really know what to do, is what she said a serious threat i should take seriously or treat it more as a scare tactic?
Should i report this to the police (although i have no recording or evidence)
I don't want to just escalte this until something serious happens.
I don't really want to go to my mum (a old lawyer of some kind) or my dad (who I can't really stand talking to) until I get some advice from some other people.
Sorry if its hard to read at times I have fairly severe Dyslexia, I have spell checked it thou with open office. I've read it through a few times and if you need more infomation i put a new post with it in, it should all be there tho.
(if I get some really good advice, I’ll hook you up with a custom (to an extent) GFX wallpaper (through HackForums or PM) as a way of saying thank you.)
OK this isn't really emotion support its just a bit of general advice needed (posted here as there is some emotion to it) I would appreciate if you would read all of it before posting, If its helps I’m 18 years old, just finished my last exam (physics unit 5, wasn’t to bad) and now on my summer holiday between school and uni.
Background info Please read before you post:
call the girl, A, is a nice girl, slightly overweight, heavy smoker and drinker not amazingly academic, sexually active.
the boyfriend, B, (from what A told me) controlling, his need its the most important, you need to learn to do things you don't like, sexually active. and APPARENTLY has hit her.
the mother, C, not the sharpest nail, controlling, things her girl is innocent and isn't sexually active. I was told by A that she thinks you should "marry for money not for love, love is secondary" (which is why she married D) (in my view the epitaph of everything I hate about people)
the dad, D,
OK first of a little back story, There is a girl in my (now old class seeing as I’ve finished all exams) who was constantly talking to me and had a crush on me, However she had a boy friend she wasn't happy with, and I got blinding drunk while visiting my godmother and started texting her that night and we kinda started going out, Nothing serious and apart from a brief sexual interaction (just foreplay) totally innocent. She kept telling me that she would break up with her boyfriend and be with me, just after she had had this holiday she had payed for out of her own pocket to go on with him. (breaking up before hand would have meant she couldn't go and she was really looking forward to it.
OK fast forward a week and now we are kinda going out officially in school everyone but the B and parents knew. Then her dad Guessed that she was seeing someone else and was cool with it, as he new what the boyfriend was doing to her. and yeah he kept it secret for a week, and then he mother found up and this is well..yeah . She from what I gathered from her quite frankly the most controlling person ever, everything A does is controlled by her and I mean everything access to phone, car internet and even checks her facebook (A is 17 years old)
This is where we go into a kinda of secrete relationship she hands out with B more as she can't see me, yes it hurts but I understand and this goes on for two weeks. Now during one of our secret talks she texts me the following in Africans (as that is what she knows I don't speak) "you really are the love of my life"
This to me pushes me over the edge, if this was true she would 1, break up with B and 2. be honest about me with her parents. so we stop talking for a few days while I think. After a day or two I reach my decision I'm serious But I’m not that serious and I really don't think you that serious else you would put up with what your parents would do.
After the mother finds out I get a text from B saying something along the lines of "what are you doing?" and I tell him the honest truth, and we talk it out like men and reach the conclusion that, I need to stop it with her (by this time I have already broken up with her as a result of what she told me) so I’m like "yes I understand" and we leave on friendly terms. which is nice for both of us as no one likes having enemies.
now since that incident with B its been a week and today while coming out of my last exam I mean the mother for the first time and we talk all seems reasonable. Me and B seem to be happy with each other now that its resolved its self and then the conversation gets Serious so I shall put this in Blue text. She tells me that I should "watch my Back as people in south Africa don't get away with things like that....you preyed on an innocent young girl and need to face the consequences....this can only be sorted out between the two people who it concerns and your not to talk to her again.....she doesn't want to talk to you either...do you things its right what you did"
(on a side note is it kinda hypocritical saying that the issues can only be sorted out by A and B and yet she is Threatening me? Me and B seem to be cool now)
Now I haven’t talked to her since I stopped it and B since he texted me saying she wasn't feeling alight and suspected we had had sex (which we hadn't) so I told him the extent of the relationship we had with more detail. I considered bygones to be bygones and he was just looking out for A's health and safety now as he hadn't contacted me back in anyway.
Questions
So yes I don't really know what to do, is what she said a serious threat i should take seriously or treat it more as a scare tactic
?Should i report this to the police (although i have no recording or evidence)
I don't want to just escalte this until something serious happens.
I don't really want to go to my mum (a old lawyer of some kind) or my dad (who I can't really stand talking to) until I get some advice from some other people.
Sorry if its hard to read at times I have fairly severe Dyslexia, I have spell checked it thou with open office. I've read it through a few times and if you need more infomation i put a new post with it in, it should all be there tho.
(if I get some really good advice, I’ll hook you up with a custom (to an extent) GFX wallpaper (through HackForums or PM) as a way of saying thank you.)