wow thats a nice story bro
!
Great story, but as BlackChaos said, try using a range of pronouns, it has the potential to be much better.
Great story, I like it a lot! You may want to change some wording though, because you started half the paragraphs with "Tom"
Very nice. You're very creative, that was a long and well thought out poem.
Thanks guys, I'll edit the problems in the near future!
Agreed, this is indeed creative. Great ending as well.
Short stories are my favorite. I'm not good with the long term commitment that comes attached to a novel. I need to find a short story book lol.
That story was well written and I enjoyed reading it. Keep up the work, a lot of people will enjoy your work.
Great work, hate how most short stories are sad.
This was a great short story. I really enjoyed it.