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I got kicked out of my house and quite probably my family for good 4 days ago with the words "My daughter and I are afraid of you living here. Leave."

Backstory:
I am 19, my sister is 18.

I'm adopted, and I am the only son she has ever had. We have never really gotten along since I was adopted to her at 8 years old. After she adopted me, she strongly refused ever adopting another son, and instead adopted two daughters.

One of her daughters, my sister, got into a fight 4 days ago. She ended up slapping, hitting, kicking, and hitting/throwing a binder at me. I had told her repeatedly to stop, blocking her attacks. After several times I had pushed her off me I ended up pushing her away from, 3 times total after she kept going back.

After the third time, she dropped down, got up, ran to her room sat on her bed crying and then called my mother saying I was "physically abusing her." Hitting her, kicking her while she was on the ground, and slapping her."

She said this because I had told my mom that she had brought some random guy over that I didn't even know and asked her if she knew the guy herself (honest question, didn't mean to get my sister in trouble)

My mom didn't pick up the phone after my sister got off with her. Never said any words that night to me except "never hit a woman, I am disgusted."


So now I have been trying to find places among friends.

Anyone been in a similar situation and can help?

---

For those who donated money to me for Oregon.

Edit: Fixed a big typo in the first sentence.

wow i'm sorry dude....

=[ i don't know what to say, i'm just really sorry....

If you're planning to move to Oregon, then where would you stay? I mean, I don't know if you can still transfer into foster care at 19, but it's kinda worth a shot.

Quote:My sister, got into a fight 4 days ago. She ended up slapping, hitting, kicking, and hitting/throwing a binder at me.

I think that you guys should talk about the problem. You guys are old enough to handle your own situations. Both of you are still acting on the childish side considering that you guys are actually physically throwing stuff and fighting with each other. Is it because you told your mom about the random guy, and that is why she got mad?

Physically fighting with a sibling blood related or not, is a very awful thing to do, especially when it is a serious fight. If you are still able to live there I think that you should start to resolve your conflicts with your sister before something else starts to happen, which I don't know if anything else can start. It doesn't matter what happened. This should had turned into an adult situation, without having a stupid argument over something. If you couldn't stop her from throwing stuff at you then just walk away from it. Just because of the fight, look where it's getting you now. It's getting you finally kicked out of the house and you don't even know where you're going to go to stay.

If you wanted to get her to calm down, I think a hug would had been a good idea. Well not really since she'll just run. But I think that walking away from the situation and then letting the both of you calm down first would had been the better idea, and when you guys were both calmed and cooled down, then you guys could sit together in a room and just talk about the situation at hand. And maybe you guys would had resolved any conflict or problem you had, and you wouldn't had to move out because of a simple lie that made your mom scared about everything.

Quote:She said this because I had told my mom that she had brought some random guy over that I didn't even know and asked her if she knew the guy herself

I think that this was the stupidest reason why she would tell your mom that you were physically abusing her over this. She's 18, and I don't get why she's acting so childish around her age right now. Maybe because she is spoiled or something? Well I'm not sure. But you could go and tell her that you honestly didn't mean to get her in trouble. Just say that you didn't know who he was and you kinda got over protective so you called your mom to identify who he was. Or if you wanted to avoid this situation, you could had asked your sister yourself who he was. But still, this is a very stupid argument because you didn't even mean to get her in trouble. You know that, but maybe she doesn't know that and she probably thought that you were doing this on purpose to get her in trouble.

Quote:My mom didn't pick up the phone after my sister got off with her. Never said any words that night to me except "never hit a woman, I am disgusted."

Even with your mom, you should sit down and talk to your mom about this situation. You should explain to her that everything didn't mean to happen, and that you did not physically abuse your sister. If you did abuse her however, then you would be seeing bruises, marks, or even cuts all over her body. And hope that she doesn't. Explain everything to her and why she said that you were abusing her. Well the fact that you told on the random guy to your mother. And maybe she'll change her mind and her opinion about adopting you and letting you stay at the house. She may not be important to you but she does have a home.

If you can, you should ask your mother about staying in the house until you find a permanent or supplementary place to stay and then after you had found a place to stay, then you can move out. But do this after you explained the whole situation to her because she probably does not believe anything you say to her and she'll always be on the sister's side. Just make sure that you are serious about everything and you do make sure she gets the point of why everything started in the first place. You're 19 now, so you better start finding somewhere to stay.

Quote:So now I have been trying to find places among friends.

I think it is a great idea to find a place to reside in among your friends. Just ask around and if you can stay with a friend for the time being then stay. All you need is a roof ontop of your head to sleep. If their parents say no which they will obviously, then just say that you'll help them clean around the house, and help them do stuff, and you'll be paying for your own food and supplies needed. All you need is to find a place to sleep, because it's a pretty scary thing where you have nowhere to sleep except in nature. I don't know if you can even turn to the police since you're 19. I'm just spitting out ideas, since I've never been in the same situation as you, but I'm trying to help. Just try to persuade the parents, and you won't disturb anyone as much. Make sure you look presentable to the parents, because you know what they say. First impressions are always lasting impressions. So make sure you have a good look and a good presentation of why they should let you in the house and live there until you find another home to stay in.

Quote:Yes, I had planned on moving to Oregon

It's to much money to go to another different state, well depending where you live and what transportation you use. I think all the money that you have obtained by donators should go to all the funds of food and supplies that you would even need in your life in order to survive the world. Don't move into another state until you find a steady job, which have a steady amount of pay.

GoodLuck!
- Brandenx781

For Oregon, I have a couple friends up there who have both agreed to let me live with them until I find a job and can pay rent, with the expected daily job apps/searches.

As for talking, my sister has manipulated the hell out of our mom and I know my mom has told others she has problems with men. I don't think there's any hope left to be honest. This isn't the first time this has happened (well not this way). Usually the police are called because my mom had thrown me against the wall and my sister calls the cops saying that I was throwing my mom around. When asked by the police, my sister says "I was in my room, and my mom has a bad knee. She can't throw my brother... just please get them to stop."

I knew my family had issues, but I didn't think they actually wanted me gone.

(06-10-2011, 02:16 PM)Veryx Wrote: [ -> ]After several times I had pushed her off me I ended up pushing her away from, 3 times total after she kept going back.

You laid a hand on a girl so no matter what I don't care, I think you deserved it. That is just wrong you NEVER EVER touch a girl, I don't care if there are going to stab you. Either run or take the shot but NEVER EVER touch a girl in a fights or abusive way I should say.
You said that she then told your mum that you psychically abused her, well think about it if you went to court for this and told the judge what happen. Yeah you would be gone due the the fact that you laid a hand on a girl, like i said that is just not right.

Reason being why I know you would be gone is because, I have had my best mate go to jail cause he pushed a girl after her trying to abuse him. I don't mean to try and start stuff with you but in my opinion I think that you deserve it, I don't know how you have been brought up about hitting girls and even laying a hand on then even to stop them. But they I have been is to NEVER EVER do that, I do apologies if this is hurtful to you and meaning less but thats just how I feel.

Cheers Curtiie.

(06-10-2011, 10:47 PM)Anon Wrote: [ -> ]You laid a hand on a girl so no matter what I don't care, I think you deserved it. That is just wrong you NEVER EVER touch a girl, I don't care if there are going to stab you. Either run or take the shot but NEVER EVER touch a girl in a fights or abusive way I should say.
You said that she then told your mum that you psychically abused her, well think about it if you went to court for this and told the judge what happen. Yeah you would be gone due the the fact that you laid a hand on a girl, like i said that is just not right.

Reason being why I know you would be gone is because, I have had my best mate go to jail cause he pushed a girl after her trying to abuse him. I don't mean to try and start stuff with you but in my opinion I think that you deserve it, I don't know how you have been brought up about hitting girls and even laying a hand on then even to stop them. But they I have been is to NEVER EVER do that, I do apologies if this is hurtful to you and meaning less but thats just how I feel.

Cheers Curtiie.

I respect your opinion, and I'm not mad. However would you honestly, if you were getting stabbed by a girl you would not do anything?

I'd never ever hit a girl with a closed fist or even touch a girl unless purely for self defense, and then in the least harmful way. If I would've been able to I would've restrained my sister.

For those who say she's a woman and is defenseless... she is almost a black belt in Tae kwon do, and is more than capable of seriously harming anyone in this forum... I felt I did what was necessary to avoid either of us getting seriously hurt.

Quote:For Oregon, I have a couple friends up there who have both agreed to let me live with them

That's a great move. But remember, you also still need money for your own supplies until you can find a job that pays a good amount of money. Well this doesn't apply if your friends agree to have you just mooch off their food and their materials they use. If you are planning to move, then you should make sure you got enough money to get to Oregon, as well has some extra money just incase anything starts to bound to happen during your trip or during your stay at your friend's house.

Quote: Usually the police are called because my mom had thrown me against the wall and my sister calls the cops saying that I was throwing my mom around. When asked by the police, my sister says "I was in my room, and my mom has a bad knee. She can't throw my brother... just please get them to stop."

This was kind of the hints they were trying to possibly give you that they didn't want you anymore. Knowing that you're adopted you aren't blood related to them. Even so, this is not the first time. So they were trying to get rid of you somehow. And they thought that this was a way. But having your mom wanting you to leave by resorting to this sort of method is something else. I think you should have a talk with the cops also if you really want to try. If you don't think nothing is going to work against your mom then don't talk to her. Your sister has seriously manipulated your mother's mind and I don't know if there's anything you can do about it but just have her believe everything from your sister. I suggest that you should hurry up and get out while you still can before something else drastic happens which can possibly get you arrested.

Anon Wrote:I think you deserved it

Oh shut up already. Read the thread before posting something stupid. The OP obviously stated that he was the one being abused by his sister so he tried to push her to make her stop. Not push as in the terms of harsh and critical violence, but pushing as a matter of self-defense and as a last resort. She was throwing stuff at him and was about to do stuff to him, do you think words are just going to put an end to a situation, when things just got worse? He was just defending himself and there's nothing wrong against it.

There's a difference between pushing someone for self-defense and pushing someone just to purposely harm someone.

Yes, maybe pushing wasn't a great thing to do to, especially to a girl, but he legit had to do it. When you get into a serious fight with someone, you get an adrenaline rush and don't know what the hell to do sometimes, so you just try to do whatever you can to stop the fight. The OP just couldn't think straight. He just pushed her to try and make her stop, but his sister didn't want to listen. His sister didn't even want to listen to any of his words asking her to stop, so it's pretty much HER fault of why she got pushed.

Don't judge until you put yourself in someone else's shoes.

GoodLuck!
- Brandenx781

damn dude i cant say i feel sorry for you,since ive been in prison for 6 yrs, but its a pretty messed up situation, keep your head up and try to go to the house and say sorry or something like send flowers or whatever. good luck man

"At the end of every dark night, there's a brighter day"; remember that. Through all your ups and downs, it's part of life, don't stress too much about it. Sit down somewhere peaceful, maybe cradle you head in your hands, if it helps you; think logically what you want to do. Think about your mom/sister and the relationship you have with them, and where you want it to go, be frank but remember your emotions too. Think about what you want to do, and where you want to go from there. Remember, we're all human, mistakes happen, and we all live life, so crap happens.

Brandenx781 Wrote:That's a great move. But remember, you also still need money for your own supplies until you can find a job that pays a good amount of money. Well this doesn't apply if your friends agree to have you just mooch off their food and their materials they use. If you are planning to move, then you should make sure you got enough money to get to Oregon, as well has some extra money just incase anything starts to bound to happen during your trip or during your stay at your friend's house.

I'm trying to. I'm trying to get money for what I need mainly food and essentials. I'm confident I can get a job within 2 weeks when I arrive. I'm a great people-person and have 3 years of customer service.

Ted Bundy Wrote:damn dude i cant say i feel sorry for you,since ive been in prison for 6 yrs, but its a pretty messed up situation, keep your head up and try to go to the house and say sorry or something like send flowers or whatever. good luck man

Thanks for the support and I don't want people to feel sorry for me. I posted it for advice.

Maestro Wrote:"At the end of every dark night, there's a brighter day"; remember that.

I like that a lot. I will remember it, thank you.