o__0
Damn, man. The way you explained it was funny, though. Well...my odd reply would be to manage to stay erect all day with a condom on to avoid infection.
Actually I have cut my penis as well before. Of course by accident, I didn't bleed much but it did hurt. I just got in a shower a lot, and kept it clean. It will sting with any touch for about 2-3 days, after it will be fine. Like it was never there. But if this cut is big, more then 1.5-2 inches I would recommend seeing a doctor actually. There is many problems with a big cut there. For one any irrection will cause pain and or bleeding as all the blood will rush to the tip. Do not have sex for at least I'm gonna say a week. As you will increase the chances of your cut getting infected. And who wants an infected penis.