Here's mine:
"I took a crap on a drug dealer because I'm sexy."
Mine is:
I got married with your mom because I hate my life.
Seems funny.
I shot Santa Claus because I hate my life
I took a crap on an egg, because that's what I am!
I pissed on Michael Jackson because that's what I am.
Great. I feel awesome
I stabbed a monkey 'cause I have perfect abs.
Well...
I don't really have anything to say about it.
I pissed on a fat guy because I'm sexy.
I ran naked with a horse because I smoked crack.