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This probably going to be very long and boring. I don't expect anyone to read this. I just wanted to type this all out somewhere, and I figured this would be the best place. I know my life isn't terrible or anything, so please don't leave comments to stop complaining. I'm just telling you my life from my point of view.

Before I start let me mention my mom was married once before I was born. She had a daughter named Crystal who is 10 yrs. older than me. She is currently serving overseas in the Army.

I was born on September 22, 1994 in Yuba City, California. I lived there for the first 7ish years of my life. We moved on and off base a few times. (Beale AFB, Yes the one in Black Ops) I guess while my dad was deployed he asked my mom to divorce him a few times without my knowledge. I was only a kid then though, so I kind of understand.

My dad soon got orders to move to Eglin AFB in Florida. I only lived here for a few years, but these were the most important years of my life. While here my parents got a divorce, about half way through the 2-3 years we lived there. My dad had been cheating on my mom the whole time. I knew they fought a lot, but I honestly didn't expect it. I was only 8. When they would fight, I would go into the corner of the guest room and cry. Sometimes I would fall asleep there in the floor. While here I also skipped 3rd grade. I was put into a 4th grade class because of testing scores.

This next part of my life is sketchy for some reason. I don't really remember my sister at all. I know she graduated in Florida and went to college in Kentucky, but I don't really know where she was between that time. I just don't remember. We moved to Kentucky when I was about nine. I was put into a Christian school where I also attended church. It was/is the best school in the area. I went here from 4-10th grade. My class was very tight with only about 20 students. Between this time my sister graduated college and joined the army, my mom got married again, and we moved from house to house to make ends meet. After my mom got married it was better. My step-dad made good money, and so did my mom. Unfortunately my step-dad would verbally abuse my mom. They went to counseling and so did I. Nobody at my church believed my mom. The pastor told us if they got a divorce neither could come back. This is when me and my mom left the church, while me ex step-dad got to stay.

While living in KY I would visit my dad a few times a year who married the woman he was cheating on my mom with. I liked visiting him, and only him. I didn't come to see my little brothers and sisters. I now have 6 all together: Crystal, Kaitie, Connor, Kari, Cami, and Catalina. I have learned to love them, but I'm still not sure if it is real. Kaitie is actually my step-sister. I went through multiple depression stages. I tried to talk to my mom, but she would blow me off saying I really wasn't. All my life I would have anxiety problems too. I would randomly start hyperventilation and stuff. Very strange.

I had suicidal thoughts a few times. The biggest time I did though was a few years ago. I don't want to get into specifics, but I just hated everyone. The only reason I didn't kill myself was because I wouldn't have been able to see their face. I wanted to hurt everyone around me so I did with little remarks and stuff. I'm different in that way. I always stay calm and quiet and I attack where it hurts. I tend to do it subconsciously now to those closest to me. I never yell or scream.

So last year my mom had to quit because her boss was terrible. Literally terrible working conditions. Because she quit we couldn't get unemployment. We moved in with my grandparents. Since then we have moved twice, and now we live in a friends house that they are trying to sell. Over the summer though we are moving back in with my grandparents. This makes me sad because my mom is 50, and we can't make enough to live on our own.

My mom has been dating a guy in Arizona for a while now. They were friends back at Beale. If it wasn't for me she would move down there. Idk what to do really about this. She doesn't want to make me switch schools again. I had to switch from the Christian school to Public school this year. (My 11th grade year)

I could live with my dad in Texas, but then I wouldn't be able to do the stuff I want with computers. I have plans that just wouldn't work out down there. Plus all the kids would make it even worse. Recently I have been bringing my grades up in school though. I'm trying to do better.

I'm not sure why I did this. This isn't everything about me just the basics. I could go into way more detail, but this is my personal life. If you actually read all of this, I thank you. If not that's cool too. I didn't really expect. I'm glad there is a forum like this though where I can just talk.

tl;dr

Kidding. Great job dude, cool story

Thanks for sharing.

Ah, parents divorcing is really tough. I remember when my parents split, worst time of my life. And I understand how you feel about your siblings. I'm really close with my youngest siblings and my older brother, but I don't talk to my oldest brother or sister at all. I never really knew them growing up so it's kind of tough to talk to them or say, "I love you." when they leave, ect. because you're not sure if you love them or not. It just feels artificial.

I hope everything works out for you bud.

I'm glad you feel you can share your thoughts here.
My advice is to stay where you are - if pursuing a life with work related to computers is what you really want - follow your hopes and aspirations, and you'll make it one day.

Trust me, there's nothing worse than giving up on your goals or aims in life, especially when looking back on them. Life is short, live it to the fullest, without regrets.

I hope everything works out, and I wish you well in the future.

I thought a lot about this story after reading it.

Recently I have been thinking about what makes some people more family-oriented than others, or more skilled at healthy relationships than others. I believe that people who have had an ideal family life have an ability to reproduce the same environment and relationships for themselves. Many university and government studies prove this, through statistics. These people are operating on skills which they develop unconsciously. Theirs is a cycle of positive circumstances.

For those of us who are born into less ideal environments, planning and practicing is really important. Stable inter-relationships, which usually means family relationships, have to be developed over long periods of time. Economic, emotional and physical stability support these relationships. The difficulty is creating positive circumstance from scratch, instead of inheriting a cycle.

What you describe is a difficult life for your mother, and I am truly sympathetic for the difficulties both of you have experienced. I understand your sadness.

Education will give you the opportunity to access economic options that will help both you and your mother. Beyond the specific course you choose (whether to pursue vocational, university or professional qualifications) you will also become more aware of public and community services which can help your family. Think seriously about the type of relationships which will make you happy, and the type of qualities you admire.

You have the ability to plan and prepare for a life which makes you happy. Don't ever feel that your family difficulties define who you will be. You can love your family, you can appreciate your past and you can aspire to a happier future.

(03-28-2011, 03:29 PM)Eve Wrote: [ -> ]I thought a lot about this story after reading it.

Recently I have been thinking about what makes some people more family-oriented than others, or more skilled at healthy relationships than others. I believe that people who have had an ideal family life have an ability to reproduce the same environment and relationships for themselves. Many university and government studies prove this, through statistics. These people are operating on skills which they develop unconsciously. Theirs is a cycle of positive circumstances.

For those of us who are born into less ideal environments, planning and practicing is really important. Stable inter-relationships, which usually means family relationships, have to be developed over long periods of time. Economic, emotional and physical stability support these relationships. The difficulty is creating positive circumstance from scratch, instead of inheriting a cycle.

What you describe is a difficult life for your mother, and I am truly sympathetic for the difficulties both of you have experienced. I understand your sadness.

Education will give you the opportunity to access economic options that will help both you and your mother. Beyond the specific course you choose (whether to pursue vocational, university or professional qualifications) you will also become more aware of public and community services which can help your family. Think seriously about the type of relationships which will make you happy, and the type of qualities you admire.

You have the ability to plan and prepare for a life which makes you happy. Don't ever feel that your family difficulties define who you will be. You can love your family, you can appreciate your past and you can aspire to a happier future.

Thank you for this. It really does mean a lot. My mom and I never spend any time together. I can't stand it for some reason. Then she says things like, "I miss my little boy". I ask why? She says, "He used to love hanging out with his mom." She would get all teary eyed, and I feel awful. :/

I read the whole thing, and while like you said your life isint just plain out Terrible it wasnt a very good one, and by how you act you deserve better. I cant really say too much too really help you, but just try and support your mom as much as you can, and try to find something in common with you and your step siblings. although you must think, this is probably just as hard if not harder on your mom then it is on you. all i can say is i wish you the best of luck bro.


off topic: im thinking about doing a life story thing myself. i did one awhile back, but this time i think i could put some time into it.