I had sex for about a month with my girlfriend for a little less than a month. Then, about three weeks ago, we stopped.
It's a long story of why we stopped, but it involved our parents/religion, and loads of other stuff. But now we can't have sex again for two more years or so. Please don't ask why or tell me I should, because I just can't, it's as simple as that.
I really love this girl with all my heart. After the first time we had sex I kept wanting more and we did it every day. Now that we've stopped that's almost all I can think about anymore and I want to keep doing it.
I don't want to break up with her or leave her..so how can I "survive" two years of not being able to do it at all?
Sexual tension in a relationship is never good if it can't be sated. Is there any kind of leniency as to what you can do? Like, light sexual play like handjobs or even just kissing or making out? What about masturbation, is that out of the question too?
If you love her though, try to stay with her through this dry spell. Show her that sex is not all that the relationship is based off of. And then when that two year period is over, you'll be able to release all of that built up tension.
Best of luck <3
It's all mental. If you love her as much as you say you do, you'll cope.
(03-18-2011, 12:22 AM)Cybr Wrote: [ -> ]It's all mental. If you love her as much as you say you do, you'll cope.
That's true. It will be tough, though. if it's an addiction, prepare for withdrawal. And with that comes increased irritability and sexual tension. It's hard to stop after you did it day after day after day. But Cybr has a point, it's all mental and as long as you have the willpower to keep going, you'll be just fine :]
Sexual addiction is very real, according to most experts on the subject most teenagers are borderline addicted, whether that's to porn or sex with a partner.
You either have to find distractions or find a fulfillment for that desire elsewhere. Obviously since you love this girl going to others to satisfy your desires isn't really an option, unless you're in an open relationship
Distractions would be the best option, I think. If you guys are always together, plan something cute like a movie night or just something fun. Or, get more in depth with hobbies, personal interests or school work. There's plenty of people who can successfully wait for sex :]
(03-17-2011, 11:58 PM)Vital Signs Wrote: [ -> ]I had sex for about a month with my girlfriend for a little less than a month. Then, about three weeks ago, we stopped.
It's a long story of why we stopped, but it involved our parents/religion, and loads of other stuff. But now we can't have sex again for two more years or so. Please don't ask why or tell me I should, because I just can't, it's as simple as that.
I really love this girl with all my heart. After the first time we had sex I kept wanting more and we did it every day. Now that we've stopped that's almost all I can think about anymore and I want to keep doing it.
I don't want to break up with her or leave her..so how can I "survive" two years of not being able to do it at all?
Long story short, this is *one* reason I'm Agnostic.
I think not having sex until you're married is silly.
As the meme says "GIVE MAN INSTINCTS, MAKE RULES IN OPPOSITION".
That's like believing that every time you masturbate "God" kills a kitten.
freakin conservative overly religious people piss me off.
And don't tell the kid he's addicted.
He's a freakin teenager. He probably gets a boner when the wind blows on his cawk.
Sexual addiction isn't even prevalent until you have the NEED to masturbate like 10-15-20 times a day
It's considered an addiction if it consumes your thoughts and interferes with your normal life. There was some TV show about sex addicts and the level they took the addiction to was certainly nothing mentioned here. It involved cheating on spouses, lying about whereabouts and a lot of dangerous, anonymous sex. One of my friends is a true sex addict.
It's natural to be a bit obsessed with sex after the first times it's been done. I was the exact same way after my first time. I was just lucky enough to be with someone who didn't mind indulging that side of me. If it's for religion though and it does mean a lot to the person, then even if it is "natural" it still violates a belief on some level. If they're dedicated enough then they can pull through :]
(03-18-2011, 10:25 AM)iceybunneh Wrote: [ -> ]It's considered an addiction if it consumes your thoughts and interferes with your normal life. There was some TV show about sex addicts and the level they took the addiction to was certainly nothing mentioned here. It involved cheating on spouses, lying about whereabouts and a lot of dangerous, anonymous sex. One of my friends is a true sex addict.
It's natural to be a bit obsessed with sex after the first times it's been done. I was the exact same way after my first time. I was just lucky enough to be with someone who didn't mind indulging that side of me. If it's for religion though and it does mean a lot to the person, then even if it is "natural" it still violates a belief on some level. If they're dedicated enough then they can pull through :]
Definitions of addiction on the Web:
being abnormally tolerant to and dependent on something that is psychologically or physically habit-forming
I'm pretty "THINKING ABOUT SEX MEANS YOUR ADDICTED" isn't in that statement anywhere.
I'm trying to figure out what your standpoint is, you just said "Thinking
about sex too much makes you addicted" then you said "Being obsessed
with sex is natural" then you said you were "lucky to find someone willing
to indulge you". Long story short; "If you think about sex, you're addicted,
but that's okay, being obsessed with sex is natural, I found someone to
wallow in my addiction with me."
My point still remains, the kid is probably 13-16 years old,
and gets a boner when eh barely *thinks* about sex.
That's called puberty, not addiction. Don't tell him he's an addict >.<
He probably hears that enough from his parents, they sound like
crazy Evangelical Christians.
(03-18-2011, 10:32 AM)Mous Wrote: [ -> ]I'm trying to figure out what your standpoint is, you just said "Thinking
about sex too much makes you addicted" then you said "Being obsessed
with sex is natural" then you said you were "lucky to find someone willing
to indulge you". Long story short; "If you think about sex, you're addicted,
but that's okay, being obsessed with sex is natural, I found someone to
wallow in my addiction with me."
Eh, I think I misworded or didn't elaborate enough. "Consumes your thoughts and interferes with your life" was meant to be taken that you're constantly fighting the urge to do something sexual, or you are doing something sexual because of your thoughts on a constant/habitual level. And things that you once held with value, such as hobbies, schoolwork, etc, are no longer important because of the all-consuming thoughts and actions caused by said thoughts. The same thing can happen with a drug addiction.
As for my own experience, I will admit to having a strong preference for anything sexual. if it's an addiction or not, I'm not sure.