Okay. I need help. My girlfriend has been really depressed and stressed out over all sorts of things that have been happening, and there's really nothing I can do to change those factors. (I don't want to go into it, it has to do with her family etc)
I need some advice and ideas on how I could cheer her up, and try to get her a bit happier again despite what else is going on in her life.
Please. This means a lot to me.
Well buddy, if it's problems within her family, don't get too involved in it, but stay by her side the whole way through. Some ways to cheer her up to get her mind off of all those problems, keep her active so she won't think about it as much, take her to see a movie, go eat out, buy her something nice. If she has any friends, plan a day where they can all go chill or something. Give her money to go shopping, anything that will get her mind off of those problems, but through all this, stay by her side & yall sit down & talk about it so she can pour out to you to get it off her mind even more.
You have to understand this now: You can't fix her problems. While this hurts incredibly, it's something that you need to understand. If you try and fix her problems, you're going to end up being hurt because of it all too.
You need to just be there for her all the time. Hang out with her when you can, don't bring it up unless she wants it brought up (bring it up only when appropriate. Like if she's crying, or early on say "I will always be here for you, so when you're ready, we can always talk"). You really just need to be there as an emotional support for her.
However, you cannot allow yourself to be drained as well. How will you be able to help her if you're feeling like crap too? Don't hang out with her every waking second. It's a horrible idea. Hang out with your friends, be by yourself, allow yourself time to just do what you want to do. Coming from very difficult experience, you have to maintain your sense of self or this is not going to work.
I hope everything works out for her, as well.
The two above me pretty much covered the gist of things.
You can't force her to feel better, and you probably shouldn't get directly involved.
(No matter how much you may want to, depending on the situation)
Just do everything you can to be there for her, and offer her plenty of
hugs, kisses, and cuddles. She'll be MORE than appreciative for this.
Also, make sure to listen as much as possible.
hej there,
Just read your post. So sorry to hear about your gf. Something that worked for me in a similar situation a while back was, my guy called a few friends over to spend time with me. it helped to talk about things and other things more importantly. In the morning, he shopped and prepared a beautiful breakfast for us and made himself vacant for the rest of the day. This kind of support was so appreciated. Your gf, may feel guilty for feeling bad and does nto want to bring you down. it gets to a stage where no can mean yes and yes can mean no. Very confusing but if you can try and listen to what she does not say, how she behaves and the way she says things, she may start to feel very supported by your insight this way. Offcourse, tread with care and let her know in your way that you are there for her, providing a safe forum to talk whenever she wants. Sorry if this does not help. Hope it gets better for her. If she feels worse, you may need to take her to the doctors as some medicine can help lift her mood up before it starts to effect her health and general wellbeing.