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I dig down, deeper than ever before.
There was nothing left, there was nothing more.

Nothing to do, no where to go,
No one to love, no one to show .....

What I'm made of, what can be done.
It's not a joke,
This is anything but fun.

Me, Me, Me - That's all I thought of..
I didn't think about her,
I didn't care for her love.

"You did all you could" - my friends are going to say,
But I know that's not the truth, I know it's not okay.

But wait, if this is true ...
Why did I do it?

The answer is simple...

I LOVE YOU!


--

This is just something I wrote quickly at 3AM yesterday. Definitely not my best work, but I kind of liked it in a weird way. Your feedback / constructive criticism would be greatly appreciated!

Erm...the message isn't very clear, but...

At least it rhymes.

(03-12-2011, 10:36 AM)Locke Wrote: [ -> ]Erm...the message isn't very clear, but...

At least it rhymes.

Haha, I'm actually glad you picked up on it. It's actually NOT supposed to have a clear message, so I guess I succeeded in that area. My favorite kind of poetry is the kind that can mean more than one thing, making the possibilities of readers being able to relate quite higher. That's what this poem is.

Anyway, the back story is more-so about a guy in a relationship with a girl, but things weren't working out. Things happened and the relationship went downhill, but through it all the guy still professed his endless love for the girl.

That's just how I pictured it as the author. The reader has the freedom to interpret it anyway they want, which I think is what makes a good poem IMO.

I actually like it. I enjoy how the message isn't too clear; it leaves room for imagination.

I like the ending. Wasn't really expecting it

It's not bad. Keep working on it!

Now, this is my kind of poetry! The impromptu rush of writing at 3 AM in the morning is the feeling I face everyday, and its the sign of a deep rooted passion of writing.
The reason why you write like this was given quite aptly: To leave room for the reader's imagination to run forth.
Its strange that this is the exact same reason I give to my friends when they ask me a similar question.
Bravo, and keep up the good work.

(04-23-2011, 12:19 PM)BlackChaos Wrote: [ -> ]Now, this is my kind of poetry! The impromptu rush of writing at 3 AM in the morning is the feeling I face everyday, and its the sign of a deep rooted passion of writing.
The reason why you write like this was given quite aptly: To leave room for the reader's imagination to run forth.
Its strange that this is the exact same reason I give to my friends when they ask me a similar question.
Bravo, and keep up the good work.

Thanks! It's SO great to know i'm not the only one who feels this way. I appreciate the feedback.

The same goes for everybody else. Your comments are very-much appreciated!