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Okay, I have a lot of things that I want to say right now, and I'll try to do this the best I can. Just try to bear with me.

I feel extremely empty, lonely, and sad. This isn't the "depression" that I've felt before, it feels different, and I don't like it at all. I've been thinking about running away from home, or killing myself. I don't really see my purpose in the world, and I just don't really see the point in living. What's the point of living, anyway? Are we all supposed to grow up, get a respectable job, have a family, and lead some boring, ordinary life? I just don't see what's worth living for, and I feel like I'm just a burden on everyone, and I don't do anything to help out anyone.

I've always been a shy kid, I guess. I have a good amount of friends, but most of them would prefer to go and play xbox rather than go to dances or anything. They never want to do anything, except for one guy who is my closest friend, and I would trust with my life. I guess it's good that I have that, I read stories of people who don't even have good friends that they can confide in.... I still feel so ALONE, though.

I'm up tonight, playing video games like I've been doing for the entire Christmas break, and for the past couple years, basically. My parents thought I was addicted to the games (my grades have been recently dropping a bit), so they took away most of my electronics, and after I worked a bit on the missed schoolwork during the holidays, they gave them back. I thought I was addicted, too, but when everything was taken away, I found that I didn't care that much about that, and I just found other things to be obsessed with. I have an obsessive personality, when I do something, I focus on it, and I literally think about it non-stop from the second I get up until I go to bed. I don't know if that is normal or not, but it's what I've been doing my whole life.

Over the past couple years, I've been neglecting friends, and spending more and more time just cramped up in my room, playing on the computer, or xbox. I've found that they get extremely boring, but I just don't know what else to do. I stay up until 6:00 and sleep until the late afternoon, or I just stay up all night and pretend like I went to bed at a reasonable time, so my dad doesn't feel like a bad parent...

I'm always really sad at night, when I look at the game that I'm playing at the time, think about it, see that it's going to have no importance in my life, but play it all night, because I'm bored, and I don't want to sleep. I feel almost scared to sleep, and I don't know why... =/

Everytime I watch movies with friends, or with parents (parents lately), I always get extremely sad (although I NEVER show it to anyone), because they all deal with love, and I wish that I could find something like that in my life. I'm only 15, but I've never even had a friend who was a girl, let alone a romantic relationship with one. I feel like I'm so more mature than my other peers. I feel like a 30 year old that's trapped in a 15 year old's body. I don't understand this feeling that well, it feels strange, but that's basically what it's like.

My little sister is always having friends over (she's 12 now), and my brother (although he only really has one friend, and he's not a very good one, IMO) hangs out with his friend all the time. I'm always alone, surfing the net aimlessly on my laptop, or on HF, or doing something on the internet/gaming to stop me from thinking, period.

I also don't eat that much at all. I feel weak all the time. I slowly dropped out of all my extra-curricular activities, as my depression thing got worse, and now I'm not doing anything. I've been working with my one friend to become a lifeguard, but the next classes don't start again until late spring.

I feel so sad. Life has no meaning, I feel like there's something important that I should be doing, but I don't know what it is. I feel like an important part of me is missing, and I'm not sure how to fill it in.

I feel fudged up, basically. I'm also seriously considering ending my life.

Don't worry, though, I'm probably too much of a pussy to actually do anything.

I'm also wondering if I have some mental issues besides this depression. I've been having some strange, fudged up things going on in my head lately. Maybe depression does it to you? I feel kind of unstable, and I feel like there's something wrong going on.

At school, though, on Monday, when we go back.... I'll just put on the disguise of a happy, healthy person again, and go back to the daily, boring routine of life. That's what life is, a freakin dull, boring routine that society made for you, and everyone's all happy to just jump right into it for their entire life. Life's more than that, I want to find out.

Guest, everything has an importance in life. You just have to think about it.
I think what you need is some outside time. Go outside, spend time with your friends. Unplug and put away electronics if that would help you. You need some outside time. Experience the outside nature. Have fun.

Sir what you're suffering from is what I call "house syndrome". You're indoors too much basically. You need to step outside and get some sunlight. Trust me just sunlight can work wonders on your attitude. Also you need to widen your friends scope. Go out and do something on your own even. Maybe you could take the initiative and plan something that you and your friends could do.

Also taking your life is the worse way to solve your problems because you're simply creating a bigger problem for others. Think you're a problem now? Wait till you're dead. Your family will have to pay for a funeral and those are hell of expensive now. Taking your like will only create hurt and sorrow.

Get out do something. You've got to be doing something man. Get off the xbox, get off the computer. Go to bed at a reasonable time so you can wake up at a reasonable time and actually see what goes on in the mornings. To me what goes on in the morning is something people don't see often anymore. The making of breakfast, families greeting each other, it's just weird.

I was in your shoes once too. Know what I did? Made new friends and went out places. Also going out with the family isn't all that bad either.

I'd really like you to make an account on on here please so that we may private message each other, and you may also find that you like it here

You just need to go outside and live. If you think having a family and wife is boring you're going to miss out on a lot in life.

Does your school or town have any clubs for teens? Or does your school have dances often? Go to those. If you're friends don't want to go who cares? Go and meet new people. See a girl alone? Talk to her. See a whole bunch of kids fist pumping? Join in.

Like the guy above me said, you have down syndrome and I start feeling that if I'm in my house for like two days. Just go outside and chill with your friends. Do you guys have bikes? Ride them and practice tricks.

The point of living is to actually to enjoy life to make it worthwhile. You gotta go out there to experience life and there many beautiful things out there. Despite everyone might feel they're a burden to others like your family continuous support and also friends, cherish and appreciate their efforts, get through school and get a job to support back your family when they become old. Take some time out to hang out with friends and just enjoy their company. We all need to get some fresh air than being coop up at home while being separated from the outside world. If you don't want to be a burden, you can do little things to help out around the house like clean the house, do chores, clean dishes, make dinner etc and be there for friends who might need emotional support or help them out of depression or make them feel loved by hanging out with them, txt or call them once in awhile. You can also go volunteer at community center who needs volunteers like Food Bank for a couple of hours to help you feel you accomplished you have helped the needy.

Your obsessiveness probably is because that is the only thing you can do. Indudge yourself in it so you won't feel bored or "alone". Trust me I bet everyone felt alone once in a awhile. To me if a friend would call me up, I would go hang out because it would be better than doing nothing at home. Staying at home will make you feel more bored and feeling alone. You need to get some sunlight to help brighten your mood. Too much bad mood can get you sick and lead to other mental negative thinking/feeling. Get out of the house, hang out with friends, make new friends, chat with friends, hang out with family members and just go out than staying at home.

Don't go to sleep at 6 in the morning, it's not healthy, it leads to even bigger depression. I know you're shy, but try and talk to some people, in school if you see a lonely kid, a girl or a guy, just talk to him, he probably has same interests as you, just try, then go out with them, it's fun, trust me. ;)
Also if you're scared to sleep, try to find the reason for it. Maybe nightmares? And stop pretending to be happy, you can also find help for your depression.

It looks like to me your not doing anything productive, you should try getting a girl friend other than your homies and socialize! Talk to people see what happens, enjoy yourself, that should help a lot.

OP here.
Thanks, everyone. =)

Yeah, I need to get outside more and do more things.
We usually ride our bikes to Mac's and get slushies, and just chill around the mall.

It seems like we just stop doing things in the winter, though, it's pretty cold up here in Canada, and no one's out that much...

Going to someone else's house and gaming is fun, but I always feel disappointed when I get back to my house, thinking that this is really all we do during the winter.

I mean, I went to a couple parties at the beginning of the break, but over the past week, the last half of the Christmas break, I haven't really gone out of the house at all...

I don't feel comfortable going to dances by myself, I keep telling myself that I don't worry about what people think about me, but I know I do (just like every other teenager, I'm sure).
Most of my friends would just get all embarrassed and say that they didn't really want to go to a dance, if one popped up, and I'm always sitting there annoyed on the night when it happens, and my dad always asks me why I'm not there. =/
Playing xbox with friends just gets boring, I want to do something else, I think there's something else that could make me a lot happier, but I don't know what it is.

Well, I was really sad when I wrote the OP. I guess I actually do have some friends that are girls, but not any really, really close friends..... I wouldn't even know how to start a relationship with anyone, but I wouldn't want to start one just for the sake of having one. I HATE when people do that. =/

Ahhh... reminds me a bit of my mood disorder

I know how you feel I was alot like this, grades dropping, I only had a few good close friend that I see out (Im also quite shy), feeling depressed.
But what I did was go out and joined some sport clubs (Rock climbing, Kayaking and Sailing) to take my mind off of things and also have some fun and meet new people.
Which helped my self esteem alot.